


I forgive you (for blue skies)

by BloodInTheFields



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Minor Character Death, sort of pre-relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-13 19:43:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10520559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodInTheFields/pseuds/BloodInTheFields
Summary: “I don’t kill.”It’s said with such vehemence that Lena raises an eyebrow at the tone. She places her glass on the coffee table beside her lounge chair and gets up, swaying on her feet lightly. That doesn’t go unnoticed by the Kryptonian but she remains respectfully at a distance.“There’s a first for everything,” Lena retorts without bite.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from. I'm still not done with Jealous of the way (you're happy without me) but I wanted to post something, so here you go. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts about this!

“I’m sorry.”

 

Lena isn’t sure what she expected but that isn’t it. She lets out a bitter laugh and makes the wine in her glass swirl, watching it with rapt attention.

 

“It’s not like she didn’t deserve it.”

 

There’s a pregnant pause before the intruder on her balcony speaks again.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Her tone is softer this time, almost a whisper. Lena sighs and finally looks up to acknowledge her visitor.

 

“You didn’t have a choice, Supergirl.”

“I wish there’d been one.”

“No point in dwelling on it. You have one job, and that is to protect this city from threats of all kinds. My mother was a threat. You took care of her.”

“ _I don’t kill_.”

 

It’s said with such vehemence that Lena raises an eyebrow at the tone. She places her glass on the coffee table beside her lounge chair and gets up, swaying on her feet lightly. That doesn’t go unnoticed by the Kryptonian but she remains respectfully at a distance.

 

“There’s a first for everything,” Lena retorts without bite.

 

Supergirl looks away, fists balled at her sides. Her jaw is clenched and she radiates tension; Lena feels it coming off of her in waves.

 

“Is there anything else,” Lena ends up asking, because Supergirl just stands there and looks like she’d rather be anywhere else.

“I wish I had the words, Lena. To make it better. To take the pain away.”

“Alcohol will do that just fine,” Lena says dryly.

 

Supergirl’s eyes shift to the half-empty bottle on the table and she frowns.

 

“Lena—”

“Oh please, let me have that tonight.”

“Actually, I was wondering if maybe you’d have another glass and if you’d like some company.”

 

Lena doesn’t let her surprise show and she nods. When she gets back onto the balcony less than a minute later with another glass, Supergirl is holding two bottles of red wine in her hands and her cape is still floating lightly behind her.

 

“Where did you steal those from,” Lena asks her as she sits and pours them wine.

“How dare you! I took them from my sis—uhh a friend’s personal cellar.”

 

The superhero shifts awkwardly on her feet at her slip-up and Lena almost lets her get away with it before deciding that she’s too tired to pretend tonight.

 

“Well, hopefully you get to replace them before your sister notices, Kara.”

 

There’s a second of panicked confusion on Supergirl’s face before she blinks it away and lets her shoulders sag. She sits beside Lena on the lounge chair and exhales slowly.

 

“How did you know,” she wonders aloud, as her fingers brush against Lena’s when she takes the glass from her.

“I spend so much time with you, Kara. Sometimes you let things slip without even realizing it.”

“Oh. Lena, I’m so sorry for not telling you. It’s just that—”

“You have to protect your identity; I understand.”

“Yeah…”

 

Kara looks like she wants to say more, to explain, but she doesn’t. They drink in silence, unperturbed by the occasional honking from a car in the streets far below. When Lena moves her hand to grab the bottle and fill her glass again, Kara stops her, her fingers gentle on Lena’s wrist. Lena lets her, allows Kara to graze her palm with her fingertips.

 

“Please don’t hate me,” Kara whispers almost timidly.

 

Lena wraps her hand around Kara’s fingers and squeezes them lightly.

 

“I could never hate you, Kara,” she assures her softly.

“I didn’t want to—to—”

 

The sight of Supergirl _crying_ is unsettling, and it breaks Lena’s heart. She feels her own tears prickling at her eyes but stubbornly refuses to let them fall. The Kryptonian looks small in this moment, so unlike the intimidating figure who usually stands tall and proud. Lena can’t stand it. She lets go of Kara’s fingers, choosing instead to wrap her arm around her shoulders and draw her into a hug. Kara’s arms immediately circle around her waist, as if she’s been waiting for Lena to decide whether or not her mother’s killer deserved the comfort of her embrace. As if Lena could ever refuse Kara anything.

 

She hears the apologetic words in her ear, over and over again, and she allows Kara to get everything off her chest; hands drawing soothing patterns on the hero’s back. Kara’s fingers clutch at her dress, as if afraid to let go, afraid that Lena will disappear if they release her.

 

“I don’t blame you, Kara,” Lena tells her once her friend’s sobs have subsided.

“She was your mother.”

“She was also a terrible person who made it her life goal to destroy others. You did what you had to do. And yes, maybe I’m sad, and yes, maybe I’m upset. But I don’t _blame_ you.”

 

Kara pulls back a little to be able to look at Lena. Their eyes meet and Lena feels as if Kara is staring right into her soul, searching her for the truth, for a possible lie. Lena has nothing to hide. She meant what she’s just said. Kara seems to sense that because she offers a weak, watery smile and nods slowly. Of their own accord, Lena’s hands move up to frame Kara’s face and her thumbs wipe at the tear-stained cheeks.

 

“How is it that you’re the one who lost a parent and I’m the one crying,” Kara remarks.

 

Lena doesn’t reply. They both know why. Kara broke her number one rule to stop Lena’s mother and there is no taking that back. The guilt weighs heavily on her shoulders. Lena can see it. She hopes that with time, Kara will grow to accept it, to live with it. To forgive herself.

 

She shifts, scooting back to lie on the deckchair, pulling Kara along with her. Kara offers no resistance, and soon they rest side by side, fingers entwined, with Lena’s head on Kara’s shoulder.

 

They fall asleep like that, in the middle of the night, under the dark and cloudy sky; wine forgotten at their side.


End file.
